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The Embarrassing Side Effects of Having Recently Read "The Hunger Games"

The Embarrassing Side Effects of Having Recently Read "The Hunger Games"

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Yes. I did it. I finally read the first Hunger Games book, in exactly one day. I had an 8 am flight from Pittsburgh to Memphis to Nashville, so around 6:30 or so after making my way through security in Pittsburgh, I wandered into one of the airport bookstores. About 20 hours later, I'd finished reading it. Actually, I don't think what I did was "read" that book, it was something more akin to ravenously devouring it, only stopping occasionally to eat, drink, and pee. And I usually did those three things either at a break-neck pace or while clinging to the book with my unoccupied hand. I read it while going through the drive through (because, clearly, I couldn't waste time cooking myself a square meal.)

Now that I'm finished, I've gotta say, guys, that I was pretty whole-heartedly shocked to find that reading The Hunger Games didn't come with the same side effects as reading The Twilight series (i.e., self-loathing, the feeling that you're harboring a rather dirty secret, a slightly lower I.Q. level upon completion, etc.) In fact, although the writing itself was pretty simple, I'm sure with the objective of catering to a wider age-range of readers, I found the plot incredibly well thought out, insightful, and obviously addiction-inducing.

However, I've noticed that reading The Hunger Games does come with several side effects of its own. I would warn consumers to be on the lookout for the following possible symptoms if you've read Hunger Games recently, and would-be-readers, be warned. Below are the scientifically proven and laboratory tested* risks of reading The Hunger Games:

1. Strong urge to re-read the Harry Potter series. And maybe Percy Jackson after that. And then Maximum Ride. And then Unwind, and Maze Runner, and -- OMFG, someone please forcibly remove me from the Young Adult section.

2. Wearing your hair in a braid and believing that the effect is "bad-ass tree-climbing arrow-shooting hottie" when all most people see is Tomb Raider.

3. A fleeting desire to get into Tribute-worthy shape. This, however, usually passes when you realize that your gym definitely does not stock its weight room with spears, bows, and climbing ropes and in no way are you going to limit your diet to rabbits and berries.

4. Inability to judge between Watchable YouTube Videos and Total Crap YouTube Videos since you worked your way through every sanctioned clip, trailer, and interview relating to the movie and moved on to fan-reenacted videos clearly shot with an iPhone in some bored teenager's backyard.

5. The belief that "Primrose" might just be the perfect name for your first-born girl.

6. Participation in several "Which Hunger Games Character RU Most Like/wHiCh DiStRiCt ArE U 4um???" online quizzes coupled with chronic dissatisfaction with the results.

7. Strong desire to order that FREE District Identification Pass from thehungergamesmovie.com. (I decided against this because, Why on earth would I be working as a Ferrier living in District 1?? That's ridiculous.)

8. Loss of sleep due to tireless hours spent working on your Katniss character in Sims. You just can't figure out how to keep her alive if all you put on her property is a lake and some trees.

9. Severely premature consideration of your Halloween costume. (It's gonna take a lot of prep to come up with a passable Effie Trinket getup.)

10. Greater than usual amounts of distrust in the government, and severe apocolyptophobia.

Consider yourselves warned.

What did you guys think of Hunger Games? If you experienced any other unusual side effects, please let me know in the comments below.

*No animals were harmed in the reading of The Hunger Games.

[UPDATE]I just saw the film, and, WOW, was it amazing!!! Check out my review, 10 Things You Probably Didn't Notice That Made "The Hunger Games" Movie So Kick-Ass.

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Quick note from the blogger:A hearty and slightly shell-shocked "thank you" to Wordpress for the honor of being Freshly Pressed for a second time. I can't pretend to know your methods, but I've come to realize that just about every time I write a halfway thought-out, slightly sarcastic post at circa 1:30 in the morning, it seems to work out in my general favor. So, thanks for that-- and of course, thank you to you guys for reading! Your comments (yes, I have read EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.) are hysterical and brilliant, I'm loving them. Also, thank you so much to the many of you who have browsed around my site and discovered my music and graphic design. I hope you enjoy them both! Happy Pressing. (And don't you dare tell me anything about THG movie-- I have to wait until next week to see it!)

The Music Bed Presents: Holley Maher

Free Desktop Art // No. 1 - "Be Odd, Be Beautiful"

Free Desktop Art // No. 1 - "Be Odd, Be Beautiful"